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| Swinging is an alternative that is emerging within the traditional structure of marriage in this country. One advantage for many people involved in swinging is that except for sexual behavior, little change is required in major values related to the traditional family form. Swinging requires changing basic values related to monogamous sexual behavior or admitting values that are different, at least from what individuals have paid lip service to in the past. Families who swing find that except for sex related areas, it does not require substantial changes in behavioral and functional roles. There is some evidence, however, that such sexual activities sometimes require changes in how couples handle jealousy, power, and so forth in the marriage. | ||
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| One especially important mechanism to overcoming jealousy in swinging situations, is individuation. Couples who participate in swinging typically treat individuals as individuals rather than as a social category, including their spouses. Each person is seen as a unique individual. This decreases jealousy by stressing the basic nature of people. In the individuation process, attitudes and behavior are modified, and swinging couples report, rather consistently, that they communicate better than they did before swinging, and treat each other much more as individuals. | ||
| They say that swinging has recreated romantic feelings they once had for each other -- expressed concretely in an increase in both sexual satisfaction and frequency of sexual intercourse. This is especially experienced by older couples. |
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There are two primary stages in swinging. In the first, the curiosity stage, a couple learns how to behave and swing with others. While many females are rather reluctant to get involved in swinging, once they do, they accept initial experiences more successfully than males. Women are generally either enthusiastic converts or completely turned off by the experience. Generally, swingers are relatively nonselective when they first become involved. Following the curiosity stage, there is relative selectivity, characterized by increasing individuation of self and others. |
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It is generally felt that you can divide swingers into those who participate for recreational and those who participate for utopian reasons. Recreational swingers see swinging as a social activity much like bowling, playing tennis and cards. Utopian swingers have a general philosophy of communitarians and wish to share not only sex but all other aspects of life with their fellow participants. |
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At this time there are relatively few scientific data that indicate what long-term effect swinging actually has on marriages. Nevertheless there is a general belief among swingers that swinging has a positive effect upon a marriage. They believe that sexual fidelity is harmful and breeds jealousy and a feeling of ownership between a husband and wife. According to them swinging does away with jealousy and helps each mate see the other as an individual and not as a possession. |
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Sexual variety, sexual fulfillment, and the potential of carrying out one's fantasies are among the advantages of swinging. Sexual excitation increases for both partners as a result of the new types of sexual experiences and there are discussions of actual sexual experiences. Women receive a great deal of positive reinforcement; they may begin seeing themselves as more desirable. |
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by Edgar W. Butler, Ph.D. |
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